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Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, lived a little boy and his sister. Well, maybe it was his sister, we aren't sure yet. They often got in fights with their evil step-droid...



(Luke faces the Dark Load)


...and so she sent them off to play in the scary, rat infested woods of Ratatatooine. She used the force to jam their GPS, luckily Gretel had left a trail of breadcrumbs so they could find their way back. As they wandered, they came upon a pair of alien panda bears.

Hansolo: "Hi, who are you?"


Yoda Bear: "Smarter than the bear average I am, and this is my sidekick Nabooboo."
Gretel: "We're awfully hungry, do you have any food?"
Yoda Bear: "Yes, we just gathered a picnic basket. Full of breadcrumbs it is!"
Gretel: "Oh crap."
Yoda Bear: "Up ahead is a Gummibear house, eat it you should."

So Hansolo and Gretel headed up the path to look for the Gummibear house. They thought they smelled something and veered off into the woods, when suddenly out jumped...



So back on the path they went, and found the Gummibear house. They began to eat it, when out came an alien panda who yelled at them to stop eating his house.
Hansolo: "But you told us to eat it!"


Yoda Bear: "What you bout talking, Willis?"

The Yoda Bear grabbed them and dragged them into the house, chained them up and said he would feed them to fatten them up so he could eat them!
Luckily for Gretel, she was from Hollywood and threw up most of the candy Yoda gave them, but not Hansolo...he just got bigger...and bigger....



One day there was a knock at the door.

Gretel: "Oh good, my brother Luke is here to save us!"
Hansolo: "I thought I was your brother?"
Gretel: "Damn, lemme look at that script again."
Yoda Bear: "Who's there?"
ewoks: "I'm sleepy, this is dopey, and this is sneezy. We're looking for C3P0 White."
Yoda Bear: "And that other one is being?"


"I'M GRUMPY, DAMMIT!"